Let It Be



Dear Past,

Consider this letter my olive branch. Over the past month, I have revisited you. I allowed the frozen spaces within me to thaw and released all the repressed emotions I was holding on to. These feelings kept me bound to an old reality. One that does not support the new truth about everything and everyone. I'm sorry I have clung so tightly to my version of the story. In my need to be invested in my wounding, I have lost sight of what is truly meaningful. I realize now that in every experience, each individual has their truth and this truth is to be honored. This level of acceptance must be unconditional, even when the truth of another may be hard for us to swallow. I could not arrive at this space of readiness to fully forgive from my heart until I laid down the emotional burden I was not willing to surrender until now. I thank you for being patient with me as I cleared out the cobwebs.

It is so easy to stay in blame. To point the finger at others as the cause of our suffering. Some lessons in life are more painful than others. They reveal truths about ourselves that may be difficult to witness and yet, within these harsh lessons are hidden jewels. I call these wicked blessings. The greatest opportunities for growth are often the very experiences we curse. It is when we are down on our knees that we find the strength to rise and stand with our own two feet in our full potential. In this respect, I can see that every single person from my past that I've chosen to carry pain over was in fact, a great teacher. Each of you taught me valuable lessons about being true to myself, loving unconditionally, living authentically, never losing myself to another, staying centered in my power, and now... the grace of forgiveness.

To each of you who once shared the path with me but have now drifted to new roads, I wish to say... I forgive you. I know you never intended to hurt me. We all do the best we can in any given moment. I've seen into your heart and saw the light glowing there. You are a good person and just like the rest of us on this little blue planet, you sometimes make mistakes. I understand because I've also made mistakes. Plenty of them. I wish to say that I am sorry for any way I may have hurt you or caused conflict in your life. This was never my intention. I'm human. Sometimes I fall flat on my face. The words come out of my mouth all wrong and miss their mark. To help right what has been wronged I now speak words of peace.

I respect that you have your own experience of what happened between us. I will not in any way try to take that from you. It is your truth and I accept this. It is not my desire to change history, but to honor its passage and flood it with love so wholeness may be restored. This is why I also must forgive myself. During a time of crisis in my life, I was unable to communicate my needs. This created confusion and misunderstanding that has muddied the waters for too long. I may never have the opportunity to speak my truth with you... to clear the air so you will see me as I really am. I can however, lay this down and make a declaration that I am no longer willing to carry this pain. It is this pain that prevents healing. I am not invested in it anymore. I drop my storyline and open myself to pen new chapters in my life. In doing so, I create release for all involved. May you each follow your heart to the center of your truth and find yourself there.

I do not care about being 'right'. Nor am I bent on winning the argument. It doesn't matter to me. All that matters is the truth that now beats in my heart. I wish you nothing but peace, healing, happiness, freedom, and love to fill you up to the brim, making you whole. May the blessings overflow in your life to wash away any hurt I was a part of causing.

Although at times I flounder, I'm a lover not a fighter. I seek peace. Sometimes, the only way to find that peace is to end the struggle... stop trying to 'figure it out'... surrender... let go, let Goddess... and look for resolution within yourself. This is what I do now.

Perhaps some day, our paths will meet again and we can greet one another in a new space. If not, know that I wish you well on your journey. I appreciate what you were able to share with me. I learned so much from you. I will always be grateful for the lessons. You have been a potent teacher on my path and have my respect.

Merry meet and merry part...